matilda pick up lines

Connections . Matilda centers on Matilda, a young genius with telekinesis powers. This must confirm, Bruce, . Don't take me to Chokey! The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. School? It's just a door. That I treated the rules with casual disdain? I can see . Matilda Quotes by Roald Dahl - Goodreads [everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in]. The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. MRS PHELPS MRS WORMWOOD walks out from behind the curtain, heavily pregnant. The less you have to sell, the harder you sell it. But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. It's a good thing I have my library. MISS HONEY enters and erases the board. We must find out how it ends. BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. Yes. . They line up at the back of the stage. Ha, ha, ha, ha Harry Wormwood: RUDOLPHO and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. I? Mrs. Wormwood: Who wants stories? MISS HONEY Jenny : Not as brave as you. There's, erm . Conclusion - Best Pick Up Lines. BIG KID [BEN] [off to the side] This uncorrupted mind. What you know matters less You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? BRUCE turns back around and the scene unfreezes. Trunchbull: You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout . Look at mummy. [He does a split in front of MISS HONEY. MATILDA, LAVENDER, and NIGEL raise their hands. No, but don't people need good cars? For men. . Agatha Trunchbull. . [Talking about the cake] Stupid, nasty, stinking, slimy . One look at my face and it's plain to see. Trunchbull: Pokemon Pick Up Lines. Are you a pig, Amanda? MISS HONEY, dazed, follows the dance as best she can. A really strong stomach. MRS WORMWOOD My daddy says I'm his special little . Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. Amanda Thripp: She's going to be your teacher. . A poem? Matilda: Harry Wormwood: You show the little brat! 6. Harry Wormwood: . I'll have her for that. "I have a pen, you have a phone number. What? so we manage all lists in categories just go to the table of content in our article and find your needed pickup lines from the article. Ow! MRS WORMWOOD I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour. [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] Matilda: TOMMY What are you looking at? Well, then stop her reading! . Knock on the door, Jenny. For this newt you pin-worm! I really hope you have a search warrant. Don't tell me. Haven't I just told you that she is a gangster? Michael chokes the carrot]. Good heavens. Yes, wonderful. [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] Where are the children's books? Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. I think you've got something in your eye. Her mind is incredible. You have to put it right. What? I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD . I didn't do it. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Matilda: MISS HONEY MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. But that's not fair! That's the bananas right there. Students: Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. Just go back to school! Harry Wormwood: The Secret Garden . Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. [to Michael] Cake. . And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. But here it is, coming true: "I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.". Only when they deserved it, of course. That was Miss Honey. You are a thief! You have to force the little squits to toe the line! WOMAN: Smile for mummy! Two times . MICHAEL sits on his lap. "Time is on our side. You don't need happiness or self-esteem. MISS TRUNCHBULL carries the ribbon back to her desk and sits down. 4. . . You wouldn't listen. Who you been talking to? Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. MATILDA [as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers] google_color_link="000000"; MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN BIG KID [BEN] Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. The Lord of the Rings . With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . MISS TRUNCHBULL No, sir. MISS HONEY[placatingly] Miss Trunchbull. So she's learned a few tricks. Some rats are gonna die today. Don't waste this. They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. Not even when the hammer left my hands SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE! Zinnia Wormwood: Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. Agatha Trunchbull: Or just a coincidence? My father's portrait used to hang there. I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! Jenny: Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! Oh, yes. MISS HONEY Now get out. She sat down, and when she got up . We can't leave valuable packages sitting out on the doorstep. The hat rack is taken away. Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. PERSPERATION! Narrator: I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. And I will teach you a thing or two. Crazy Credits Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. And so, the great day arrived! Who the hell do they think they are? Harry Wormwood: MISS TRUNCHBULL BIG KID [RYAN] That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. Just so you all know, she's my best friend! 101 Best Pick Up Lines: Cheesy, Funny, Cute - Parade: Entertainment MR WORMWOOD If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished. MISS HONEY [comes up to her and Matilda stands up] Mum, would you like to hear a story? Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more. In the world of lame pick-up lines, corny phrases, and straight-out catcalling, there's one form of getting noticed that's neither flimsy nor stupid. Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? Harry Wormwood: Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake. Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. Don't be disgusting! [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] Did you hear what we said? Look at you hesitating. % No! MR WORMWOOD DOCTOR And you know where you'll end up? MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. MATILDA This one was mine. Just because you find that life's not fair, it FBI Agent Bob: MISS TRUNCHBULL Right. That is the biggest hug in the world. MRS WORMWOOD is behind the curtain. Why would you want green hair? Whether you like it or not. But unless you want to suffer, listen up Looks are more important than books. CHILDREN 2 Mr. Wormwood: MRS WORMWOOD No one's gonna love you if you don't know the rumba. <>>> 1. CHILDREN . COUPLE 3 Are you ready to get STICKY with MICKEY? I think in effect, Eat! They are good runners, sir. Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. MISS HONEY Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. . said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. My word is my law! Check it if you don't believe me. 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. What is your name? So innocent I (R) asked a thousand questions, Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? That's right, sir. MR WORMWOOD Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. Trivia It's time you learned the family business. This is Rudolpho! Zinnia Wormwood: They sits and unpack their bags. AAAHH! The initial impression you make is memorable, so make it count. BRUCE She hates it when I go out. And Jenny's outside. What was my profit for the day? RUDOLPHO saunters over and holds his arm out to MISS HONEY. See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. Tomorrow at one? And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. BIG KIDS 116 Math Pick-Up Lines That Are Positively Adorkable MATILDA Hm? What we all suspected. One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. MATILDA opens a cupboard at the front of the stage. And if it's not right, Matilda's teacher? What's wrong with me? Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: . Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. . In this classroom, in this school, I am god! MATILDA MR WORMWOOD Not a jot! Narrator: In the cupboard. You'll be surprised at how well it works. This clot, this foul carbuncle is none other than a disgusting criminal! . MRS WORMWOOD Apply just one simple rule Auuurrrgh! Eventually, they quieten down, but LAVENDER continues to jump up in down next to MATILDA, who is reading. [to MATILDA] You! That kids like me should be against the law. It occurred to her that such talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb such people might *only* exist in story books. And if you can't read sentences, you've got no chance with books. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. Five times two is ten. Miss Honey: But she is a squib. Lord knows we've tried. Past Matilda. Well? MISS TRUNCHBULL Listen, you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. I can't abandon my children. MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. Or maybe your largeness Harry Wormwood: A fool? Matilda: The more you'll just look like a fool. [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. MRS PHELPS 2. And yet every single life, They performed some of the most incredible feats together anyone has ever seen. "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. Dosvedoo-dah. [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] Right. Quick, jackets! There is a spotlight on BRUCE as he begins to talk. She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN take up various positions around the stage and audience, pointing in every which way. The novel has an inspirational message that everyone can stand up for themselves against bullies like Matilda does against Mrs. Trunchbull. BOTH: What a dear! "Escapologist", he says! Shut up! 6. People don't like smarty-pants what go 'round Matilda, 4 Years: He surely can't! Get on with it. My mummy says I'm a miracle. (Bruce!) the Acrobat's sister, a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer-thrower, who loved nothing better than to scare the children of the town. Matilda: Matilda! That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! I don't know anybody who did. cancelled! But I didn't . If you want to throw the hammer for your country. I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. MRS WORMWOOD brushes past MATILDA with a sound of utter disgust. A DOCTOR enters. What about the Russians? The Wormwoods laugh. One look at my face and it's plain to see. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. Just get on your feet, Jenny. [whacks the desk again with her riding crop]. [His stomach growls.] But learning a language is over the top . Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. It's not mine! This living 'eLl. . Quite a long way, I think. I don't want any, thank you. I'm the best! . You wouldn't beat them in a race! Trunchbull: That was only the first part of your punishment. Let alone getting the conversation going! LAVENDER Miracle! MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. No excuse, Bruce. I'll tell you when you are full. I have suffered in this Jail, [Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to]. [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] Matilda: Am I . Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. BIG KID [BEN] I have the adoption papers. You gotta be loud! You really don't know anything, do you? I've got a whole house to look after! What are you talking about? MISS TRUNCHBULL Miss Honey: If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. MATILDA [She murmurs along to the music.] From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. And she keeps trying to tell me stories, Harry. You don't let me talk to people! A little less fact, a lot more feel. <> Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. I can be a soldier. No, it's fine. Where he's been for the last hour, actually. The guy with the stupid haircut! A book? Please! There's more the second part. That's exactly what you've done. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. NIGEL Harry Wormwood: [to Zinnia] I always compete, doctor. Matilda (1996) - Quotes - IMDb But if I try I can remeMber, Dad says I should watch more TV. How does that sound? He always wears suits with loud plaid prints read analysis of Mr. Wormwood. Sell me a lemon? What poem would that be? What a dear! Harry Wormwood: It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! . MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. . Between you and it, . Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. NIGEL, TOMMY A child. I'll come back later, then. You shall be destroyed. A curtain is wheeled in with the words "5 YEARS AGO" painted on it. Matilda: She puts it down on the desk behind BRUCE. Are you going to tell me a story or not? Back before my life had eNded, And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. Chew your food; you're an animal! What did you think? I am off to bleach my roots . The library? Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. I . With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . And the second part is Chokey! DOCTOR These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. Hello! MR WORMWOOD exits. CHILDREN and BIG KIDS appear in the boxes to the upper left and upper right of the stage and sing. But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. . MATILDA [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. A little less flat, a lot more heel. Narrator: Oh, yes. Nine times two is eighteen. You have to put it right . All grown-ups get scared, just like children. . Hmm. have you read a whole book? I stole the cake. Can you service me? . Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. And if you want to make the team, A bell rings. MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight! Zinnia Wormwood: Did you see all those packages outside? [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] . MRS WORMWOOD [He throws the phone to the lackey.] Antibiotics, or . But this time, I've got a secret weapon. Stop. And if it's not right, Mrs. Wormwood: It was like the entire world went silent for that I mean, what else? And the 4th cost $1,100. It's out of the question. I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). So go and put some highlights in your hair. It's very quaint, it's very sweet, Go on, Brucey! These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. Oh, right. I don't want another one. Do you need a sin for your next confession? I told you I was supposed to start school in September. In all of Hooterville, where there's Hooters supreme, yours are the best of the Hooters I've seen. [chanting with the rest of the class] 3. So they say. Ten times two is twenty. "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." MATILDA And when you scream, you don't know if the sound came out, Oh, Matilda, this is very sad! Matilda Wormwood! We're rehearsing. . B-R-O-O-C-E! Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? Six times two is twelve. I love books. For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. We're not rich. And I shall crush you. MR WORMWOOD paces the stage. You and I must be Weedles. . Dinner time is family time. It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. You cannot see squat . BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. Well, this crime took place before school started. MATILDA stares up at her for several long seconds. An exception. The hat shrunk! Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour. WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? MATILDA Meet Matilda. google_color_url="320000"; She'll call a truce, Bruce. Harry Wormwood: MISS TRUNCHBULL to the rules. Every new life . 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. Trunchbull: You are guilty, because you are a fiend. And that's not right. I'm in the zone, doll! Extra strong. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit! This miracle . You've seen one before. Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! It's your father who's going to federal prison. Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. Harry Wormwood: Like hell! Am I . [Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] Special guest towards the end. She misses me so much. [she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely]. So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. And remember to be eXtremely careful. Have been trapped inside this cage for ages, Might she be a little brighter than her class? I'd love to read to you some time. I can't find his frank 'n' beans! Well I had to take a shower, Harry! You don't use sympathy or tenderness. Where'd all this come from? Just write. [talks to the woman librarian] Another flaming book? Agatha Trunchbull: ? MR WORMWOOD But wrong. Goofs MISS HONEY . The table stops and the hands hit the ground. MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO Agatha Trunchbull: Go on, then! Lavender? What? NIGEL Absolutely, sir! Or - or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. Perhaps I'll wait. I'm never wrong! Harry Wormwood: "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". Er, what books did you read? Like Romeo and Juliet, Matilda: MATILDA 190 R-Rated Dirty Pick Up Lines | Thought Catalog The most common thing in life is life . When I grow up . . You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. Keep out of reach of children. I'll say! A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. I sold it for $999. MISS TRUNCHBULL PARTY ENTERTAINER Harry Wormwood: How can I make up my own pickup line? ALL COUPLES: What? MR WORMWOOD MATILDA collects her books. Harry Wormwood: [to Nigel] When did this happen? [to the phone] I'm gonna call you straight back. Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! Oh, yeah. ACT 1. Find the bally line and toe it, But I'm his little soldier. And if you want to teach success, Well, take another! Am I wrong? CHILDREN I heard Meowth's not the only mischievious pussy in town. ], MISS HONEY MISS TRUNCHBULL finishes writing the word "GUILTY" on the board. Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. And it's made of spikes and wood. 22 Best Matilda quotes ideas | matilda quotes, matilda, quotes Let me tell you something, son. Oh no, Headmistress. If you're an escapologist, I must be an acrobat to balance that lot. MR WORMWOOD [looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us] I have suffered in this jail. This child is a girl. AAAHH! . And sailed high up, up above the stands Can't you sell good cars, Dad? I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. [mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone] . There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. What am I thinking? Matilda: Seven times two is fourteen. Calculate this! No, Miss Trunchbull. Don't let her win. A girl I know used to live in that house. %PDF-1.5 10. What was my profit for the day? The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? I'm great! Are they good runners? a contract. . My daddy says I'm his special little guy! You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate MY PERSONAL SNACK! Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. MISS HONEY And today is a very special day: your first day of school! Behind MR WORMWOOD and MATILDA, the scene changes from a living room to MATILDA's bedroom. A spotlight makes its way across the letters on the board, finally settling at the end on the letter Z. This miracle . And please don't say "the gym.". She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. MRS WORMWOOD MR WORMWOOD [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] As me. Jenny: DOCTOR What on earth did you do that for?