Even sex has to be approached from, shall we say, a different angle to accommodate pain. Take George Carlin, for example. No nothing. This is set on the first visit of the visitor to the site and updated on subsequent visits. "I was a loner as a child. ", 4. Its you. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 But once the child is born? Dumb ass motherfuckers., The real owners, the big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. ""Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. "Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. But once youre born, youre on your own. ", 95. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. They've got you by the balls. This cookie is used for embedding The Guardian video player. You have owners. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. This cookie is set by Eloqua. Thats right. This is the best we can do, folks. ", 49. "'Bipartisan' usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever til the end of time! December 2, 2015, 3:27 PM. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. "It's important in life if you don't give a s**t. It can help you a lot. The _omappvp cookie is set to distinguish new and returning users and is used in conjunction with _omappvs cookie. "Dont just teach your children to read. Like the public. Prof Thuggy aka Professor Thug 32K views 1. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers . Carlin had 14 comedy specials, several published books and CDs, 5 Grammy awards, many TV and movie roles, and the title of being the first-ever host of Saturday Night Live, all under his belt. '", 73. After that, they don't wanna know about you. ", 77. ", 22. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. ", 61. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ", 43. This cookie is set by Segment to count the number of people who visit a certain site by tracking if they have visited before. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. ", 2. "Laugh often, long and loud. The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. "A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed. He's not a cheese. And complaining about the politicians. Thell get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin place. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. If you can't beat someone, arrange to have beaten him. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. "In America, anyone can become president. The great American comedian George Carlin died on June 22, 2008 at the age of 71. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. But this week, his voice has brought to life a new anti-Trump video called America Wake Up, created by a. ", 84. Enter your email address to follow Motley News. "It helps to remember this.. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). 234. AddThis sets this cookie to track page visits, sources of traffic and share counts. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. They want your fuckin retirement money. The people are fucked. George Carlin, Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. ", 105. ", 101. Everything He ever makes dies. They believe a womans primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state.. ", 90. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. The challenge is to find it. The uuid2 cookie is set by AppNexus and records information that helps in differentiating between devices and browsers. You should die first; get it out of the way. A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! I prefer dogs, because dogs don't care. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. "Everybody's been mad at me, cause I haven't been on the f**king, y'know, the gravy train of these candidates, especially Joe Biden and Harris. Theyre not interested in that. "Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. "Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. ", 87. A cat . This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I think. "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ", 7. ""I don't think we should be governing ourselves. ", 92. Its because volunteers work for no pay. If a dog can do it, you can watch. the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big, red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day., This video is completely devastating for Trump. These days, 'Trajedi. "'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. That's what the owners count on; the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes everyday. It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. Laugh until you gasp for breath. ", 19. Then youre just what theyre looking for. ALEX COHEN, host: Carlin died yesterday of heart failure. It helps in consumer profiling for online advertising. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. And Bushis pushing this country farther down the hill, faster than anyone has before. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? ", 96. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. "I have as much authority as the Pope. "People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. ""Deep Throat: Think about it. The legendary comic, who died in 2008 at the age of 71, is also the subject of an upcoming two-part documentary, George Carlins American Dream, which debuts on HBO Max later this month: By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, "Back In Town," Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: "Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. "I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. He was 71 years old. Thats the problem. No other time but to see how human nature really shines, am I right? I don't always agree with everything he says, but I always listen Given the nature of our current Administration, I thought it timely to revisit what George said years ago (Back In Town HBO Special, 1996 . So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. Maybe this time itll work. The v1st cookie is set by TripAdvisor to collect details about how visitors use the website, by displaying user reviews, awards and information received on the TripAdvisor community. You dont. They own you. "What if there were no hypothetical questions? "If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it? "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. This cookie is used for DNS Prefetch and HTTP2 Push. What do you get at the end of it? Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. he was a conservative. ", 11. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. '", 93. It will not be with jack-boots. The truth is that George Carlin would be branded a left-wing nut job who has pie-in-the-sky ideas and wants people to collect money for doing nothing. (LogOut/ This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? You don't. You have no choice. "In America, anyone can become president. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. ", 97. The video featured audio from George's Wake Up America bit combined with imagery of events and people in today's society. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. This cookie is used as a unique identifier for the BlueConic profile. Well what if I don't want to? "Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. This cookie can only be read from the domain they are set on and will not track any data while browsing through other sites. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. After that, they don't want to know about you. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. If youre offended by foul language dont watch this f**king video. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. ""I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. Board Messages . If they say, Were the So-and-Sos, take a walk. I have major psychotic f**king hatreds. They've got the judges in their back pockets. #AmericaWakeUp. ", 125. School officials told the couple that they present an inherent harm to kids..
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